Common Hello Questions

1. What is an example of childhood trauma?

Never thought I would come out and say this on the internet but this question ignited a memory of one of the most traumatic, turning points in my father died of a heart attack when I was 5 and I was the only one in the house. I found him lying on the sofa, unresponsive. I remember shaking him saying ""daddy, daddy wake up". It's been 15 years (god.. 15 years) and while the pain has lessened the scene of the ambulances and frantic people still haunt me. I remember everything. We had stopped home because I had to use the bathroom , my brother was at his little league game down the street from our house. His coach drove him home and then that's when everything began. I was found naked, asleep watching scooby doo. I even remember the episode slightly.I think the worst was when a month later I kept saying to my aunt ""I want to see my dad, take me to his house"(my parents were divorced) and the door to the apartment was open, I saw several men painting the walls white. A new family would inhabit this place, With no knowledge of the events that took place.I think the other thing that traumatized me a lot when I was a child was witnessing 2 people have very loud sex. Apparently everything I drew looked like a penis. I began shitting and pissing the bed and having emotional outbreaks. My therapist coined it as "regressing". I regressed a lot in my childhood due to trauma. I was behind the other kids emotionally and was so bad that I ended up not being able to remember it. As a survival tactic my brain made me completely forget it. It wasn't until a family member mentioned it when I was 17 and it was so ing familiar but I couldn't remember. I eventually picked up the pieces. But at first, I really could not remember.I had to grow up much faster than other kids. I'm like even contemplating deleting all of this because I DO NOT write about things like this on the internet. I don't need pity. Also maybe it effects my ego? Lol. I don't want people knowing my weaknesses. However, I feel like the person who asked this truly might not know what a childhood trauma is and how it affects you developmentally and in your subconscious. All I can say is find a therapist that gets you. They're not all the same. Nicole changed my life and continues to. And don't oppose medication because it's better to be on something that balances you than self my adult life managing interpersonal relationships have been hard as I have a fear of abandonment. But each day I try my best not to project my own trauma and sabotage my relationships. Having this fear I didn't even know that my loss was playing a big part in my subconscious and my interactions with others.I hope this gave you the insight you were looking for. I've come to realize grief is the last act of love, we lose a piece of ourselves since we are made up of all the connections and experiences we gather in this life. They're irreplaceable, singular beings. There is no timeline. You can't control catastrophic events like that in life but what you can control is your healing and your choice to. Be a survivor of your misfortunes and not a victim. Live each day honoring them as they remain alive in your memory. Thank you


2. If reincarnation is real, why would people be reincarnated into people who don't believe in reincarnation?

At least in Buddhism, there is no belief in reincarnation. Rebirth is the name of the Buddhist notion that most people confuse with reincarnation though it has mostly nothing to do with it (none of the 5 skandhas, when they cease to manifest, will ever be propagated in the same form into the future). My master answering a few questions once told that:Do you have to believe in reincarnation to be a Buddhist?Reincarnation means there is a soul that goes out of your body and enters another body. That is a very popular, very wrong notion of continuation in Buddhism. If you think that there is a soul, a self, that inhabits a body, and that goes out when the body disintegrates and takes another form, that is not Buddhism.When you look into a person, you see five skandhas, or elements: form, feelings, perceptions, mental formations, and consciousness. There is no soul, no self, outside of these five, so when the five elements go to dissolution, the karma, the actions, that you have performed in your lifetime is your continuation. What you have done and thought is still there as energy. You dont need a soul, or a self, in order to continue.

You are more than just this body because the five skandhas are always producing energy.Its like a cloud. Even when the cloud is not there, it continues always as snow or rain. The cloud does not need to have a soul in order to continue. Theres no beginning and no end. You dont need to wait until the total dissolution of this body to continueyou continue in every moment. Suppose I transmit my energy to hundreds of people; then they continue me. If you look at them and you see me, well, you have seen me. If you think that I am only this points to himself, then you have not seen me. But when you see me in my speech and my actions, you see that they continue me. When you look at my disciples, my students, my books, and my friends, you see my continuation. I will never die. There is a dissolution of this body, but that does not mean my death. I continue, always.That is true of all of us. You are more than just this body because the five skandhas are always producing energy. That is called karma or action. But there is no actoryou dont need an actor. Action is good enough. This can be understood in terms of quantum physics. Mass and energy, and force and matterthey are not two separate things. They are the same


3. Is "Can I take you out?" a good line to ask a girl out?

Depends on the situation, your approach and the women. As a rule of thumb don't make questions binary in dating. Yes and no questions get yes and no answers. That's a tough way into a ladies life for even the most seasoned player. That's why they don't do it usually! A maybe type answer is tons better then a straight no! Get to you two ending up at a date in a happenstance way. Be subtle. Be casual about it. Slip it in the conversation in a casual non threatening chill way. It's a situational type thing. You really got to play it by ear. Some people respond to very confident approuches some like very respectfully timid. Like I said you got to play it by ear. But most of all dont be in a hurry if you are do it a different time. Nobody wants to feel rushed. That's not attractive. These things take a bit of time. I not saying spend hours getting around to it. Small talk is in it's self is casual and non intrusive. That's how you want to make the situation. Totally chill. Don't be direct and frank until later. Chill ok. Be social not serious. Listen to what's not being said. What works for me is put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself questions like. If I was them would I respond to this or feel I'm creepy and threatening? Am I looking stupid and embarrassing myself? Look and I mean watch carefully body language. Yours and hers. Watch other guys go through it, like all the time. It's like getting unsolicited practical advice watching other guys interact with women. Also if your in a social gathering type situation check her out for a time. Watch what she is responding to and not so much. When you feel you got enough information move in brother. It's alot of things. If you think there is one cookie cutter way into others hearts you aren't getting it. What works for someone may not work for the other. Every situation is unique. Think about asking someone out as a job interview. Because it is! Good luck and always have fun

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